help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize