My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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