Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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