dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
