Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
