brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
