Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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