too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Dicks are not precious.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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