I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Randomize
