Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Randomize
