I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
