it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
