Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
BRING THE BAGELS
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
