did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Randomize
