no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
