Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
