Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Randomize
