Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
