May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
