these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
my sisters under your porch take her home
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
