I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
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