Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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