Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
