ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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