idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
