Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I just found a bag of teeth...
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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