you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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