the day after is always just damage control
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
