i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
