Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
