it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize
