Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
