Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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