and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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