That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
