The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
