i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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