i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize