True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Randomize
