She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
