hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
