My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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