I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
