also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
