Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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