your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
