I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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