guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
