fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
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