Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
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