Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
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