your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
