took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
